Inner Mastery Blog

You Might Not Be Who You Think You Are

Will it surprise you to find out that the majority of people are not behaving authentically with who they were born to be? The primary reason is people are socialized through their formative experiences to be someone they are not.

According to Dr. Sherry Buffington, founder of the COREMAP Personality Assessment, everyone is born wired to have certain personality traits and preferences. But over the years, external influences shape people to be someone else in order to comform to other people’s expectations.

Eventually, they begin to believe they actually are this socialized self.

I know, because it happened to me.

How I learned to Be Inauthentic

I am a sociable, playful, and fun-loving person at heart. I’m also passionate, emotional, and exuberant a lot of the time.

But you would never have guessed that if you had known me early in my career. I was serious, all business, intense, results driven, and distant.

Why? Partly because of the example my father set in his work and how he expected us to behave when doing chores around our home and property. There was no place for “nonsense” when there was work to be done.

Add to my father’s influence the fairly formal and serious work environments at my first few employers and you start to get the picture.

The turning point came when I took the COREMAP Personality Assessment (and a major reason that I use it in my own practice today).

My COREMAP results helped me see I was suppressing a key part of who I am—the Entertainer part—which includes being inspirational, expressive, imaginative, sociable, and playful. So I set out to reclaim that lost part of myself.

Once I began to fully embody these qualities, two things happened.

The first thing that happened was a profound shift in how much I enjoyed my life and my work. I describe it as “going from Kansas to Oz” as Dorothy did in the movie, Wizard of Oz, and having my life go from variations of grey to vivid color.

Second, I became much more effective at my job. That makes sense because I was bringing a lot more of my natural talents into the process.

Needless to say, I am incredibly grateful to have rediscovered and embraced my authentic self!

9 Reasons Why Being Wholly Authentic Is Important

  1. You are your most powerful when you claim all of your qualities, which are strengths and resources for you.
  2. Trying to be someone you are not and suppressing aspects of yourself is exhausting—it adds to your fatigue and stress level.
  3. Being inauthentic robs you of your joy and sense of fulfillment.
  4. People can tell you aren’t being genuine, and it is confusing to them.
  5. Being your real self enables you to be more relaxed — not only are you less stressed, but it relaxes other people around you.
  6. Trust goes up with other people—they know what to expect when they interact with you because you aren’t hiding anything from them.
  7. You have more energy, enthusiasm, and enjoyment in your life which leads to greater success at work and well-being at home.
  8. You will have and show to others greater confidence and will second-guess yourself less due to the comfort you have in being yourself.
  9. You will differentiate yourself from others, creating your distinctive and compelling brand which will help you get noticed more.

Have you made changes to be more authentic? Please share about it in the comments below.

About Mark Youngblood

Mark Youngblood founded Inner Mastery, Inc. over 20 years ago to promote personal and organizational transformation. His life purpose is to elevate human consciousness and support people in developing successful and fulfilling lives.

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