I know many single, lonely people who comment to me about their desire for a relationship. They long to be in love and to share their lives with someone. And then, almost without exception, they say “but I don’t want to get hurt.”
So they carefully guard their hearts, keeping people out, because they want to be SURE before they commit and finally let in that TRUE LOVE who will never, ever, ever hurt them. Because if that were to happen, they would have to close their heart down again–retreat like a clam closing tightly over its precious pearl–hunkered down in the safety of their emotional armor. Because it just hurts too much.
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
— John Augustus Shedd
John Lennon Got It Wrong
Just as ships can hide in the harbor to avoid the perils of the sea, you can hide your heart away as Lennon encouraged us to do, but that is not what hearts are for.
Hearts are for LOVING, and for receiving love!
People think they can wall off their emotional pain and then fully reap their positive emotions like love, joy, and happiness. Au contraire! It doesn’t work that way.
Consider the metaphor of a stereo. People think there is a separate knob for treble (positive emotions) and for bass (negative emotions). They want to turn down the bass and yet leave the treble high. When actually, there is only one knob which controls both.
You can either have the volume high for both, or for neither. When you clamp down on your painful emotions and suppress them, you are shutting down your positive ones too.
What Hearts Are For
Hearts are the vehicle for real connection: heart connection. When allowed to play openly, unsheltered, and unconditionally, our hearts are the most powerful and amazing forces on the planet.
Most people don’t know that because it is so rare to see a heart that open.
Open hearts heal through their caring, inspire through their radiance, bring joy through their exuberance, breathe life into your creativity and your passion. And they feeeeeel!
Open hearts feel all of the exquisite emotions this life has to offer. Your open heart will make you swoon with ecstasy at the colors in a sunrise, fill to overflowing at an act of kindness or the laughter of a baby, make you weep with compassion at the plight of others, and yes, they will hurt when rejected or treated callously.
But here’s the greatest secret you’ll every learn — hearts heal if you will let them. And the hurt and the healing can become just another aspect of life’s bittersweet sensual melody.
Take a risk today! Open your heart and give love without expectation of return–welcome other people’s love into you and embrace them completely. Savor all the exquisite delights that your emotions and sensations can bring you, and the indescribable joy of true heart connection. And that doesn’t happen only with a lover, any open heart will do!
Begin to LOVE fully and completely as you were designed to do, and you will not be lonely for long!
What would change for the better in your life if you opened your heart fully? Let us know in the comments below.